curlygirl's Cancer Blog
July 30, 2008
| No news is no news. | Views: 1200 |
Just a warning: You may want to get out some cheese to go with the following whine.
So I met with my oncologist for the first time today. I was really hoping to get some information about what the next steps will be for me and when we will start, but no. I know I wrote in my profile that cancer has taught me that I can’t control the universe, but I’m really still learning that lesson. I realize now that I went into today’s appointment with a script in mind:
Doc: Ok, you will need radiation. It will be 5 days a week for 7 weeks. It will make you tired, cumulatively over time, then the fatigue will wear off within a few weeks afterward. You will then take tamoxifen for 5 years, which will give you menopausal symptoms, then it will all be done.
Me: Great! Can we start radiation this coming Monday?
Doc: Yes. I’ll see you then.
But that is not how it went. My doc wants me to have the Onco Dx test, which will take at least 2 weeks. Then I’ll have to wait to meet with her again. Then, at that point, I believe we will know what the course of treatment will be. We know for sure that radiation and tamoxifen will be in the mix, no matter what. Chemo is not off the table yet and it’s that decision that the Onco Dx test will inform.
Little Mary Sunshine has to take a backseat at this point. I am frustrated. I want to know what is going to happen and, more than that, when! I feel like my life is in limbo right now. I don’t know what the treatment will be, therefore I don’t know what the schedule will be, therefore I don’t know what my work schedule will be or how I’m likely to be feeling at any given time over the next several months, so planning anything in the near future is just not possible. I seriously dislike that.
More complaining: So much of this experience has been a matter of hurry up and wait. I rush to be on time for appointments, then sit around in waiting rooms and exam rooms. I fill out the same paperwork with the same information over and over. It’s pretty frustrating, especially because I am still not moving forward. If I was getting somewhere, maybe I’d feel less frustrated with the details.
Ok, so on the positive side, the doc did say that I’m a “very healthy woman” and that my surgical incisions look great and should barely leave any visible scars. That was nice to hear!
I’m sorry for the whine fest. Go get some dessert now. &:-)
12.17.08 - 
Auntie Carole 
Thanks for your support -
Hi Kathy, I don’t no if you can have this kind of treatment,but if you have time check Mammosite.com
this is a 5 day 2 times a day treatment for breast Cancer. I had it done in o6. It is not to late to check on this. I am also a volunteer on voiceofmammosite.com here you can read the stories of the women like myself that have gone through the treatment.
Hugs Sherri
Hi Kathy,
I can totally relate to your plight. I have anal cancer (can you believe that one?) They found it by accident when I had a colonoscopy. They send me to a surgeon…he tells me absolutely nothing except that I was to have surgery, which I did have (talk about unpleasant!) Now, he is on vacation and my pathology report is just waiting for someone to read to me, but who and when??
I agree the waiting is the hardest part. But, WE MUST be patient. I was thinking yesterday that if I was not a patient person before, I sure will be when this is done.
One day at a time I keep telling myself! Hang in there, the days will pass quickly.
Take Care.
Bo
I’ve heard that a glass of whine a day is good for your heart. I know that having everything in limbo would just about put me over the edge. I hope that you are able to have some peace and stay in the moment.
I love you,
Lula
Hi, Kathy:
Just wanted to let you know that things will get better once you get “the plan”. The waiting to get started is excruiating. When I was diagnosed, I expected the worst——at the very least I figured I’d have to quit teaching. But, I was able to keep my job! I had chemo for 6 months and then 6 weeks of radiation and I was able to work around all of it, thanks to a very understanding principal. Also, I didn’t even have nausea. I hope your cancer journey goes as smoothly as mine did. Oh, and I completely understand you describing yourself as “a cancer patient”. From the onset, I worried most about looking
“cancer-y”. And I did! But, it all turned out okay and life is good.
Keep us informed as to your progress. We’re here for you!
Whine on sister whine on. My mom told her oncologist, “you may be praticing medicine, but you sure as hell ain’t praticing on me.” They told her their plan and she told them she was going home for a martini, she would return when she thought better of their plan.
I don’t know that she ever went back, she refused treatment because she did not want to feel that bad. She made her own decisions, right or wrong and lived by them. Make the doctors work for you, remember you hired them, they aren’t doing you a “favor”.
It helps to get a bit angry, at the cancer and at peole who offer up less than their very very best. I may well die, but it will not be without everyone’s best effort to the contrary.
Be well and blessed
Hugz
Mac
You have done so little whining in your posts; you are more than due. Always remember that you are a Goddess; a tough broad in a gorgeous, tiny package! And you are loved, even when you are angry or frustrated or whiny. And God bless Tim!
p.s. Marge is in charge and all is well.