curlygirl's Cancer Blog
July 16, 2008
| The news comes today | Views: 1080 |
Today is the day I’ll get my pathology report. I should be nervous, I suppose, but I’m really not. This eerie new calm version of me is refusing to think ahead to the what-ifs and how-will-Is. I’m guessing that I’ll get more anxious as we get closer to the time of the appointment (4:00), but for now, I feel strong and steady. I’ll worry about what comes when it comes. (I’ll post about the pathology report as soon as I get a chance.)
I would expect myself to be making a big drama out of this, but it’s just not happening. That dramatic energy is just not there. I mentioned this to a friend who said that maybe I’m just a drama queen about the little things. This makes sense. I’m much better in a real crisis than I am in a merely frustrating or inconvenient situation.
So, of course, I have to wonder. What am I really doing? Have I learned to surrender to circumstances and accept what comes? That seems awfully mature for me! Am I in denial? I really don’t think so. Right now, I think it’s just about conserving energy. I don’t want to waste energy worrying about the future, but I want to spend that energy on healing and staying strong and positive right here, right now. It’s a strange situation for someone who is such a planner, but I’m learning.
12.17.08 - 
Auntie Carole 
Thanks for your support -
I hope you get great news. ;-)
Farish’s and my fingers and toes are crossed for best results today. I haven’t read through your blog for a few days and it’s been so nice to read through the days all at once. Whatever happens, my fervent hope is that you never lose this beautiful sense of self—where and who you are to yourself and where and who you are to others. Thank you for sharing with all of us the unique, wonderful you. Patsy
Hi there, I am sending good thought your way.
Hug Sherri
Dear Cathy,
I continue to send you Love and healing energy through out each day.
XXOO to you my friend!Thank you so much for sharing Cathy!
DeeDee